Suddenly, Yan Xun felt a little nervous. He took his seat beside Nalan Hongye, but had the intention of avoiding her. Frowning, he said, “Don’t poke me.”

　　Nalan Hongye raised her eyebrows in reply. “You’ve been on the battlefield before. Are you scared of such a small needle?”

　　Yan Xun remained silent and skeptical towards her craftsmanship as he continued to frown. However, he realized that she was actually good at embroidery as she used her fingers to seemingly bring the needle to life.

　　She was frail. From Yan Xun’s point of view, he could only see a fair, white neck. As the sunlight shone on her body, giving off a serene aura, the smell of medicinal herbs lingered around the room. The sand in the timekeeping pot slid to the base, grain by grain. The rustling sounds of the needle brushing through the clothes could seemingly be heard.

　　Suddenly, Nalan Hongye’s hands trembled as she began to cough lightly. Initially, she tried to suppress her cough. However, it soon spiraled out of control as her coughing grew louder. Yan Xun frowned and reach out his other hand to pat her back lightly as he called out, “Bring some water here, quick.”

　　Wen Yuan rushed forward. Yan Xun received the cup of water and fed her one mouthful. As her breathing stabilized, her face remained red as the look in her eyes grew increasingly fatigued.

　　“Are you alright? Do you need a physician?”

　　Nalan Hongye shook her head weakly and replied, “No need, it’s just an ailment. I’ll be fine after a little rest.”

　　“Don’t fix this outfit anymore. Wait until you’re feeling better.”

　　Nalan Hongye nodded as she felt tired.

　　Yan Xun removed his outer coat and handed it to Wen Yuan as he ordered, “Wait till she’s better. Don’t give this to her in the next few days.”

　　Wen Yuan nodded her head in joy as she thought to herself Five years. Finally, the heavens have opened their eyes. His Majesty finally knows how to dote on his wife.

　　Yan Xun put on another cloak and said to Nalan Hongye, “I’ll take my leave. Rest well.”

　　Nalan Hongye nodded. Yan Xun turned to walk out of the room, lifting the curtains in the palace. As his shadow faded, Nalan Hongye suddenly began to feel anxious out of the blue. Loudly, she exclaimed, “Your Majesty?”

　　Yan Xun froze as he turned his head back.

　　From afar, they looked at each other just like that. Time seemed to flash across them. One year, two years, three years, five years… All that he did not know, tens of years, many, many years.

　　“I’ll tell the kitchen to prepare more delicious food tonight. Your Majesty, will you come?”

　　Yan Xun stood at the center of the palace and continued to look at the woman on the bed, from afar. That was his wife, a person that he had never acknowledged or paid attention to, but had helped him practically in many ways.

　　He stood there, looking at her, as he tried to recall what she looked like in the past. However, other than the sight of her sporting expensive jewelry and flamboyant outfits, he was unable to recall anything else. Presently, she was dressed in a plain, white outfit without any accessories on her head, no makeup on her face. Her lips were pale, her figure appeared frail, and it was uncertain how long she would continue to live for.

　　Forget it… Yan Xun sighed to himself. Although she had monopolized Xuan Mo’s military power, although she might have found out about his relationship with Xuan Mo, although she might have destroyed Xuan Mo’s last letter to him while he was still alive…

　　Forget it. From afar, Yan Xun nodded and said, “Rest well first. I’ll visit you later.”

　　The refreshing wind blew into the palace as the doors were opened.

　　Nalan Hongye sat on her bed as she watched his shadow fade. Her expression was gentle and calm.

　　“Madam…” Wen Yuan smiled in joy, not knowing what to say. Finally, she said, “I’ll go and prepare the necessary.”

　　Nalan Hongye took a deep breath as she leaned into her soft blanket. Suddenly, she reminisced about that evening many years ago. He was on his horse, catching up with her. Finally, he stood on the other side of the bridge and faced her as he shouted, “I’ve buried a jar of fine wine under the pear tree. Will you come next year?”

　　Will you come next year?

　　Will you come next year?

　　Will you come?

　　It had been many years, but she could still hear his voice whenever she closed her eyes. It seemed like only yesterday that this had happened.

　　“Yes! Wait for me!” she poked her head out of the horse carriage and shouted back in response as his shadow slowly faded into a small black dot.

　　Yes! Wait for me!

　　However, she never went back.

　　Upon the demise of her father, she was left with only her sickly mother, intellectually disabled brother, and the other relatives of the royal family who coveted her power. The responsibility of upholding her empire fell solely on her shoulders.

　　As for him, he lost his family and home. The pampered child who lived his life in luxury turned into a prisoner overnight.

　　After ten years, they finally returned to the place where they had initially met. Alas, everything had changed; they no longer recognized each other.

　　She closed her eyes and smiled.

　　Before dusk, Wen Yuan had been busy with choosing an outfit for her, and helping her wash up. The servants in the kitchen, knowing that the emperor was visiting, went about their tasks with renewed vigor. Although she was unwilling to make them work like this, she did not object as she saw how happy they were.

　　However, as the sky slowly darkened, the dinner hours passed. He was still nowhere in sight. All the servants felt increasingly panicked. Wen Yuan dispatched a few of them to gather news outside as she consoled Nalan Hongye repeatedly.

　　Nalan Hongye came to a state of realization. She did not feel sad, but hollow instead. Yushu was right—Dongnan Palace was too big, hence it always appeared cold and lonely.

　　A short while later, Yan Xun’s personal eunuch arrived with the news that an emergency had occurred near Meilin Pass. The emperor would be occupied with military matters, hence he would be unable to make it.

　　That instant, Nalan Hongye seemingly heard the sighs coming from the entire palace of servants. She rewarded the eunuch, turned to Wen Yuan, and ordered, “Alright. Lay out the table.”

　　Wen Yuan froze. “Ah?”

　　Nalan Hongye laughed. “I’m going to eat. Don’t tell me I won’t need to eat if His Majesty is not here?” This point dawned on Wen Yuan as she led the rest of the servants to prepare dinner.

　　Nalan Hongye ate over 20 dishes herself. Her appetite was unusually good. After eating for a long time, she told the servants to bring the soup.

　　In the subsequent three days, Yan Xun was preoccupied with military matters. After losing the war that year, the Princess of Jingan, Zhao Chun’er, retreated to the southern borders. Despite being surrounded by Zhuge Yue a few times, she escaped with a bit of luck. Zhuge Yue, on account of Zhao Che and seeing that she no longer attacked Tang, did not pursue her further. However, recent news reports from the northwest claimed that her troops, along with the Quanrong people, had been unusually active outside the pass. In no time, many conflicting reports circulated around the capital. The court of Yan fell into a state of tension.

　　These three days, Nalan Hongye’s condition relapsed a few times. Dongnan Palace appeared cold and desolate.

　　That night, Nalan Hongye, who had been bedridden for three days, suddenly sat up and told Wen Yuan to retrieve a cotton box which she kept in a cabinet. Wen Yuan had initially wanted to advise her not to worry so much, but did not, due to the determined look on her face.

　　It was a cotton box with the color of sandalwood. It looked old, but not heavy. It was locked with three padlocks as if something valuable had been placed inside.

　　Wen Yuan used her handkerchief to wipe off the dust on the surface and coughed. It was not known how long the dust had been allowed to accumulate there. Nalan Hongye took the box and looked at it for a little while, before picking up three keys hidden under her pillow to open the box.

　　Wen Yuan reached out her neck and saw a thick pile of letters in the box. Many pieces of paper had turned yellow; it looked like they had been kept for a long time. Disappointed, she frowned in frustration.

　　“Wen Yuan, go and get a brazier and bring it in here.”

　　“Madam, what do you need a brazier for?”

　　Nalan Hongye pointed to the letters and said, “To burn these.”

　　“Ah? Burn them?” Wen Yuan froze as she exclaimed. Although she did not know who wrote those letters, she guessed that it held some significance to her, based on the manner in which she stored those letters. Puzzled, she asked, “Why, Madam? Why do you want to burn these?”

　　Nalan Hongye thought for a while before she replied gently, “Instead of burning them, do I leave them here so that someone will feel sad and guilty?”

　　Although Wen Yuan did not get what she said, she obliged and walked out of the room to retrieve a brazier. In a short while, the fire was lit.

　　“Wen Yuan, go out first.”

　　Wen Yuan nodded and replied, “Yes, Madam. If you need anything, remember to call me.”

　　Silence resumed as the palace doors were closed. Nalan Hongye picked up the pile of letters, which she had read for countless times, as her pale fingers brushed against them. The look in her eyes turned gentle gradually.

　　Yes, Aunt was right. She was a scaredy cat.

　　The dignity of the eldest princess, the empire of Song, the Nalan family… all was fake. All of them were lies that she had concocted to deceive herself. She was merely afraid to make the first move.

　　He did not know anything. When she saw how he missed Xuan Mo, how he took care of Yushu and Yong’er, she would feel sweet inside, knowing that he still placed Xuan Mo in high regard. She knew that she still held some sort of place in his heart. However, what was she to do if he did not fall in love with her, after learning everything?

　　She was scared. She had no courage. She feared that he would only be slightly shocked after learning about everything, not reciprocating her feelings as she had expected.

　　She feared that she would be unable to displace that certain someone in his heart even after going all out. She feared that she would be destined to fail, even after the truth had been made known. Then, she would not even have the right to dream; presently, she could still convince herself that she was as equally important to him, compared to that certain someone.

　　She was actually such a timid person. Despite knowing that she was deceiving herself, she still persisted in her beliefs.

　　What else could she do? Her feelings were like a tree whose fruit never bloomed. She feared the arrival of autumn, hence she stubbornly remained in spring and summer. This way, she would never face that tragic ending which she dreaded.

　　She picked up a piece of yellow paper and raised it high up. The piece of paper, having been around for a long time, was now thin and fragile as it let out a crisp sound. Suddenly, Nalan Hongye loosened her grip, causing the piece of paper to fall to the ground. The flames in the brazier engulfed the paper which she valued highly, turning it to ashes in no time.